Wiping ass is not weird and here's why.

Can you wipe my ass?

Yes, heels can make peeing look cute.

Yes, heels can make peeing look cute.

My disabled ass has known many wipers. As an ass wipee I feel like I’m qualified enough to speak about my ass wiping experiences. Why talk about wiping ass Alex? That’s gross.

Because all asses need to be wiped, yet it’s still stigmatized based on the uncomfortable reactions displayed when someone finds out I need assistance wiping the bits. Not only do I get stigmatized, but the ass wiper does too. “WHAT!? You wipe someone’s ass!?! How does that work?” Besides someone shaving my bits, getting my ass wiped is no doubt an intimate task, for both parties. That doesn’t mean it has weird. Let’s break it down.

I drop a deuce or pee after 1/2 of a coors light.

But first, my ass is plopped onto the pot. Then I do the deed, you know, the one that everyone does.

“K, I’m done, wait can I have a sip of my beer before you wipe?”

“Okay, here Al, chug it or no balls.”

Person comes back in (feeds me a beer in this realistic hypothetical) and slides their hand in between my thic disabled booty and the toilet and does the ole swiperoo, they flush the toilet, and hopefully wash their hands. I get plopped back into my wheelchair and have my pants pulled up. The end. I’m sorry to disappoint the world of future ass wipers, but it’s not as interesting as you’d think. At some point, most people will wipe an ass other then their own, whether it’s a child / baby, a family member, a spouse, a disabled person, the elderly, etc.

My friends are not inspirational because they help me wipe my ass.

They are just good friends who help their friend because we’re friends and we do things for each other. If I could, I’d do the same (if they needed) for them and they know that. Not because it’s a big deal, because it isn’t. I can think of a lot more uncomfortable things like nails on a chalkboard or clowns which are MUCH more weird / uncomfortable than wiping ass. After all, we all do it.

To end on a light note, I can say with 86.8% certainty that guys are pretty awful ass wipers based on my experiences, which makes me wonder about their own booty hygiene, but that’s a story for another day.

Normalize ass wiping 2019, let’s do it.

You’re so inspirational “for wiping ass,” THANKYOU NEXT

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